More than four months after his release, Keith Siegel still bears the mental scars of what he endured. Keith Siegel spent 484 days in Hamas captivity, moving through 33 different locations across Gaza’s underground tunnels and bombed-out buildings.

In a new interview with AFP, Keith details the abuse he experienced at the hands of Hamas, and the constant fear of never seeing his family again.

Along with 251 hostages taken on October 7, 2023, the 66-year-old Israeli-American was seized along with his wife Aviva from their home near the Gaza border. They were initially held together before being separated across different locations. Early in his captivity, Keith worried about Hamas discovering his American citizenship, fearing it might separate him from his wife.

“At the very beginning, on October 7, they asked us all our names, our ages, where we’re from, and if we have another nationality, citizenship… I said that I did not,” he recalled. “I was worried that they might release me (without Aviva), because I’m an American citizen.”

Aviva was released after 51 days during a November 2023 ceasefire. Keith remained in captivity for over a year longer, finding himself alone for months at a time, sometimes held so far underground he was “gasping for breath.”

“It was the most horrendous, or one of the most horrendous, situations that I was in,” he said.

His captors used psychological torture alongside physical abuse. In one incident, Keith recalled how a Hamas operative suddenly pulled out a gun and said: “I’m going to kill you now.”

“Then he said, ‘now you’re dead’ and laughed,” Keith said.

He suffered broken ribs twice from beatings and endured regular taunts about his wife and daughter. But what still haunts him most was being forced to watch the torture of fellow hostages.

“I witnessed a woman being tortured, literally,” he said, describing what he called “medieval-style torture.”

“She was on her back, her hands were bound together, and also her feet, and they had put… tape, or a piece of material around her mouth so she couldn’t talk. There was a man standing behind her with a metal rod that had a sharp point at the end of it and it was on this woman’s forehead, and he was applying pressure.”

Keith said watching the torture while being powerless to stop it still gives him “terrible thoughts.”

“I just felt paralysed,” he said.

During his darkest moments, Keith used mindfulness techniques and had long, imaginary conversations with family and friends to stay mentally strong.

“There were peaks of anxiety, fear and just the torture of not knowing, the uncertainty of not knowing. I promised myself that I must return and was not able to think that I would not return. I think that gave me a lot of strength psychologically to get through the days.”

When Hamas finally released Keith in February, they handed him a paper bag containing “presents” including a gold embossed “release certificate” signed by a Hamas terror commander, two key rings with Palestinian flags, and a leather bracelet with the same flag.

Since returning home, Keith has campaigned tirelessly for the remaining 52 hostages still held in Gaza and carries posters of other captives he spent time with: Matan Angrest, Omri Miran, and twins Gali and Ziv Berman.